| (no subject) |
[Feb. 23rd, 2007|02:56 pm] |
(past)
if you really want things to happen. if you really want things to turn out the way you want them to, then you have to believe. you have to believe that you have the abilities, that you have the time, that you can manage, and that it all is possible. to attain what you want, you need the confidence and bright optimism to help you envision those things that you wish. just imagine those possibilities, feel how real and close they really are to you and your reality.
death touches so many peoples lives everyday. it has rarely touched mine, but in the instances that it has, whether intensely or by some tiny method, i get a better understanding and sadness for the quickness of life. i feel sad for those lives that have ended so quickly, while i'm lucky enough to be living. there is so much to life. these instances in which death touches me, though not very intensely, i feel that i need to work harder for them. i need to make more of what i have and i have to really appreciate what i have and have had in my life. for all those who have passed away, whether at a surprising age or a too young age, i want you to know that i want to live better because of you, i want to make my life and the life of people i know and don't know a bit brighter. i hope you rest in peace, and if you don't rest, i hope your life after death is just as sweet as the reality i live in now. maya told me yesterday that goals are important in life, but it isn't the goal that matters, it's the process of acquiring and accomplishing that goal, of going through the obstacles and hardships that block your path to that obstacle that make the goal so worthy and desirable. i feel that these past two things work together, if i die, i will be missing out on partaking and facing those obstacles, which although difficult, are sweet in their own secret way. i don't want to have the lives that my parents have. i want the love for the children that my mom has and i want the work ethic that my parents had, definitely the one that my mom has, the desire that she has for her children's well-being and safety. i don't want to be the slacker, i want to work and be satisfied from the hard work. working is living in a way, it is working your body and mind together, it is pushing yourself to the brink and beyond, it is doing what you don't want to, or sometimes it is doing what you want also. i want to change and work hard. and it begins today. for this life, i do owe something. i don't own any one person, but i owe it to those who are less fortunate than myself. i owe them the opportunities and kindness that i have received throughout my life. to do that and also give a special kind of attention to your family is a busy and sometimes difficult act, but those things are what make life sweet. it is only fair.
(today)
things i like: a place for every thing, and every thing in its place, maps, the world (and the realization of how huge it is).
what if we had the perfect life, life would be boring, what would there be to do? |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 26th, 2007|01:15 am] |
man, drawing a world map is hard!! it's a new type of assignment for me, as i try to complete it, my stomach churns and i get angry....frustrated!!! but practice makes perfect, so practice, after practice, after practice. i'm actually enjoying this challenge though, each line and country i complete, makes me feel sooooo good. my love and respect for mother earth is growing with each line i draw on the paper. geography is such an awesome major, so broad and all-encompassing at the same time, it's beautiful. a mixture of the world and the people all at once, it's what i've been searching for, it's that broader view, the eye-opening view of the bigger picture that's been gnawing at my soul.
this quarter should be a good quarter, for academics, relationships, and extracurriculars. with circle k, i feel that the board is just clicking and trusting each other a lot more than before. the remainder of our term has a bright look to it now, it will still be difficult and busy, but we applied and ran for our positions knowing that it would be a busy time (but it definitely was more than i was expecting). i think my problem with board before was not submerging myself enough into the nitty-gritty and detailed affairs of all our activities. i needed to know what most of the people were doing and the logistics of the events to really feel at peace, so i could know that things were going well and events were running smoothly, because if they weren't then that reflects a disharmony in the club itself, which is not good at all, both for the board and for the members. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 12th, 2007|01:02 pm] |
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhh it's friday. do you know where you should be right now? you should be in the library or someplace with your nose in a book, get it?! but after you shower.
Dear Friends,
hi, this past winter break was the best restation i've ever had so far. i didn't do much, but just visited family and friends and did work/errands for family members. but why was it so sweet? because these were activities that involved people that are close to our heart, that is why it was so sweet. the activities weren't a burden, but a pleasure, or at least an activitiy that we were happy to do. i hope your breaks went well, i really hope you had a wonderful time with your closest friends and loving family. A new day has arisen, enjoy it, and on that note, so has a new year! we're already a dozen days into the new year, and i feel that change for the better and new experiences are just around the corner. you're great, you deserve the best, and you deserve a beautiful life! LIVE and Prosper (in life and in mind and body) |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 12th, 2007|12:45 pm] |
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give me hope. let the sun shine in my heart. sail freely across a sea of uncertainty. find your strength. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 4th, 2007|10:11 pm] |
modern world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hi everyone, hope this new year goes well for you folks. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 29th, 2006|06:45 pm] |
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uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 27th, 2006|01:06 am] |
i love my family.
i need to stop consuming junk food. i don't want to be useless when i grow up. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 15th, 2006|04:11 am] |
more things that get me mad:
in intramural football, the people who block the quarterback do so with their hands behind their back, but can get all up in the rushers faces. the people who try to get to the quarterback (they're called the rushers) can try to get the quarterback but CANNOT touch/bump/or make any contact whatsoever with the blockers!!! I get so pissed off when some "cool" punks try to get to the quarterback but in the process push and touch and bump into the blockers!!!! ahhH!HH!H!H! I was blocking for my friend Leo (the quarterback) and a floormate of mine (Jeffrey) was blocking with me. and when the play started, out of the corner of my eye i saw one of the rushers running into Jeffrey and kept pushing him to try to get past him, luckily Jeffrey stayed tough and worked hard to block that jerk. Later on, that punk was a wide receiver and i was defending him. after he caught a pass and i pulled his flag, i told him "hey m-fer (i didnt use that word haha), could you watch the pushing when rushing, it's a friendly im game, okay?!" you could tell in the way he responded that he didn't care, man..... who does he think he is, running around, breaking rules, and disrespecting and being unfriendly to my nice teammates.
in a game we played today, this one meanie tried to start a fight with my friend Leo. Leo was pushed by the jerk when Leo was moving our ball 5 yards forward, which is what a team gets when a blocker is pushed by a rusher, but the jerk thought Leo was trying to "start something" supposedly, so he started getting all pugnacious. luckily, a floormate (Alain) stopped Leo from retaliating. Well Done Leo, you make me proud!!! oh Leo is my roommate!!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 15th, 2006|03:49 am] |
i want to do better. i desire to do better, but i'm not really putting enough effort yet to get better. I want a few things. I want good grades. I want to go to grad school. I want to get close to being the athlete that i was in high school. i want to read. i want to organize my thoughts better, in recreational and academic writing. i want to run. i want to wrestle. i want to study!! i really do! There is progress, though. slow, but gradual progress. many times we wish to have that big, sudden amount of progress, we wish to see that change immediately. i don't think that's impossible, it's just very difficult to do so. drastic changes have to be made in order for those to happen.
Music: Carla Bruni, Paris Hilton (!), Akon, Juanes. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 14th, 2006|03:41 am] |
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i've slowly been catching up with my studies and improving my habits. i've been enjoying the song "Hi" by Psapp and some songs from Carla Bruni and Juanes. previously, i thought my spanish teacher was a bitch, but she's not bad, she's pretty intense, but it'll be better for me in the long run. trying to get at least an hour of physical activity everyday, this will only help me in being happy and improving my skills for intramural football. it is now playoff time for im football. i've been to lucky in my life. i've been spoiled with fun and happiness and activity, and now i need to make sure my siblings can say that, too. there is always too much that needs to be done with and for the family. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 16th, 2006|03:38 pm] |
What if you magically received one million dollars that didn't belong to anyone, it all belonged to you and the government wouldn't find out about it and you wouldn't be taxed and you could spend it on anything you wanted without getting in trouble?
I would pay off the house for my mom, i'd buy my mom a nice and pleasant business, i'd buy my uncle a house, i'd buy my uncle a business, i'd save some for my college education and maybe some more for grad school (?), i'd buy a new pair of wrestling shoes, i'd buy my good pal Louie a wrestling singlet, i'd buy myself a wrestling singlet, i'd get a new pair of running shoes, i'd buy a Honda Odyssey, i'd eat out more, i'd cry, i'd save some money for my siblings, i'd take my family on a grand trip to visit other countries.
but considering how much businesses and homes in california cost, i probably wouldn't be able to do all those things. a million bucks isn't what it used to be :( |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 19th, 2006|12:02 am] |
The wishes and desires and goals of our youth are the ones that are closest to the purest desires of our heart. Free from the pressures and input and criticisms of the friends, family, and society that we encounter in our teenage and adult years.
It was a good day today. Slow, enjoyable, and eventful. Started off the day on a high and positive note by cleaning some windown screens that my mom thought were dirty and then fixing the sliding screen door that opens to the backyard. Headed to UCI to join the Circle K folks in some tabling action, many of them seem very tired. I walked Ivy's puppy around for a bit, he's so cute! Too many girls were going crazy over him! hahahah. Visited the Vietnamese American Coalition tent.......and saw Suzanne there! That was awesome and pleasant. Her voice sounds different from when I last talked with her. Time is changing everything! Afterwards a friend from LA stopped by UCI CK's tent and then we went to UCI's Social Science parking area to help my friend jump start his car. Hahaha. Then me and my friend went to get some Golden Spoon, but before we got there we again stumbled upon Ivy Trac who was entering an automobile, what a pleasant surprise! Enjoyed a wonderful cone of Heath Bar and relaxed and conversated for a bit before dropping my friend off at Vista del Campo. Traveled to Westminster to take an LA friend to Michael's and Pearls (awesome arts and crafts store) to buy some supplies for the new ucla CK informational sandwich board. Afterwards headed to the Cajun Corner near the corner of Brookhurst and Mcfadden (near Pho 54) to eat up some delectably messy crawfish, gumbo, sausages, and strawberry lemonade. The meal was a very relaxing time. That was most of the day, just visited my uncle for a bit at the donut shop before heading home.
Make sure to hug people! A hug does so much, and each one carries a different message and feeling. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 9th, 2006|11:14 am] |
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things that irritate/anger me: when people cross the double yellow line to get out of the carpool lane, when people enter the carpool lane by crossing the double yellow line |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 6th, 2006|09:46 pm] |
mmmmmmmmmmmmmm. yay! freedom from the camps! freedom from everything! freedom until i move back to school on the 19th of sept. well of course, it's not "real" freedom, but general freedom from certain activities, freedom to relax and think and hang with family and friends.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! i love wrestling and running.
sniff sniff. digital camera! i would like one.
power rangers really started to suck after the power rangers in space series. they had those weird galaxy folks, who would run around in a crouched state, those savage jungle folks with the tarzanish leader, the magic rangers who used magic and wore CAPES in their morphed state, and of course the current ones who have returned to dinosaurs again, but use so many other minor dinosaurs for the megazords, it's madness!
today was a fairly good day. there should have been a visit to uci's pool and then to two other friends taking summer school, but sinned wasn't in the mood (errrrrr). and then me and my siblings lost the desire to visit mile square park, so just went to target to buy shorts, shampoo, and a frisbee. and then to big 5 to buy swimming goggles, balls, and my very first speedo (it's magnificent). afterwards went swimming, and it was a fun pool day because all my siblings were involved in the festivities (my sister didn't swim but she was still around and throwing balls into the water for us to catch). and most importantly, the speedo fit very well. i felt much faster in the water, very hydrodynamic.
it's funny, shopping can also be fun. not just buying stuff, but the walking around and browsing and trying on and out of things. my siblings start school tomorrow, so it won't be until the weekend that we do something like that again. you can always go shopping, but it's not the same when you have homework and work and all that other junk.
things to do: plan out classes for rest of year, find place for mother's birthday, maybe take pictures with siblings for mother, soup kitchen, social with so cal circle kers, pick up photos from east coast trip
things that i would like to buy: timex ironman triathlon watch (my favorite)
favorites: timex watches, speedos, Hanes sweatpants, my super stretchy adidas exercise shorts from my first year of high school (sniff sniff), eggs and rice. |
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| summer, isn't it always lovely! |
[Aug. 18th, 2006|01:03 am] |
so i'll be heading off to two weeks of camps for kids this saturday :( one is unicamp (which is a ucla affiliated charity camp) and the other is Makin Magic Kamp (a Circle K camp). both camps take underprivileged youth up to the mountains in big bear for an escape from the city life and immerse them in a fun camping world where they can let loose, learn more about themselves, and learn life skills that they can use back at home to take care of themselves in all of their affairs! so this shall last from this saturday until sept 1st.........uhhhhhhhhhhhhh. right now i'm thinking and feeling, "what have i gotten myself into?" but it's ok, just this one time, just this first summer after my first year will i have to face this. this first year was really, most importantly a time to try out lots of things and feel out which activities are most enjoyable for me. and so, from now on, college will be even more enjoyable and less clustered!
purpose is good. especially in college. if you don't have a plan of what you'd like to do in the future or aren't sure of what you really enjoy studying in college, dang, college would most definitely suck. but purpose! it is vital to your existence. so the meaning of life you say? just do something that you like! and you shall have a meaningful life! |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 4th, 2006|12:02 am] |
Oh hohohohohohohoho.
we (circle K) were tabling at a freshmen orientation this past tuesday. it was a fun and energetic event! i noticed, that a lot of my energy comes from others, i draw my energy from others, and they SUSTAIN ME!!! see, there is a lot of power in groups. go pluralist form of democracy! but it was nice seeing so many incoming freshmen interested in community service. many of them were very energetic and excited about circle k, hopefully many of them come and check out the club. i'd be really happy if they did, they would only help to bring more spirit and energy to the club, and then i would have more energy, and thus be more happy and excited!
gahHH!HH!H!H!H!H!H!H finished with summer school today! ohhhhh! two finals complete, and now i feel fairly free from the holds of the academic world, at least until september. but let me tell you, after i finished my poli sci (american govt) final, i didn't feel very excited and relieved that summer school was over....nope. but, after the final i went immediately to the library to check out a book that i've been wanting to read since i started summer school, and once i got that book in my hand, once i held that piece of literary genius in my left hand! I FELT SO HAPPY AND JUBILANT! i felt free, and it felt like i had no worries!
havent read that many books yet. so far i've only read N.P. by Bananan Yoshimoto and The Republic by Plato (for my poli sci class). i checked out Amrita, also by Banana Yoshimoto. i really like Banana's writing. her writing is very modern and deals with young adult characters and their unique problems and circumstances. darling, darling. :I |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 22nd, 2006|01:10 am] |
Being a college student: there is indecisiveness concerning what I would like to pursue for a career. A week ago I was set on working in public health, a little while before that foreign service had piqued my interest, being a fireman has popped in and out of my mind throughout the summer, right out of high school it was social work, senior year of high school it was military/police force, middle school was between politics, astronomy, and being a commercial airline pilot. Looking back on those decisions brings a smile to my face, such fantastic, wonderful, and positive dreams of what could be, or can be! Right now, I’m much closer to deciding what it will be, but as you know, those times when you are closest are when things are the hardest as well. So close yet so FAR!
That was from a few days ago, after reading up some more I believe public health is still the way to go and I feel invigorated and optimistic. Things are a little clearer. Having a goal/something to work for definitely helps in reenergizing a person and setting them back on track. Hahah (in a cynical manner), it’s funny how lots of thoughts in college revolve around figuring out what you want to study and do for the rest of your life, it seems to lame, which it is! Hooohooo. I think though that what I study is versatile enough so that if public health doesn’t click with me, then I feel it gives me the ability to move into a number of other things, most excellent. Being well-rounded is pretty important to me, that’s why single majors are lame sometimes, because they just seem so one directional and narrow, horrible.
Weekend Plans:
Work Saturday morning
Fun/Formal Dinner Event Saturday Night
Work on paper for political science class some of saturday and rest of sunday and beyond!
Fare well friends, perhaps i haven't commented or talked directly with you in a while, but YOU have passed through my mind, so take care and have fun this summmer, most splendid, friends aren't forgotten so easily, hahahah, ta ta! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 12th, 2006|07:02 pm] |
whoooooooooooo. spanish final went swimmingly. and now one more final, a life science final on wednesday. i am most definitely starting to feel those "oh the year is coming to an end, make sure to keep in touch" feelings. i am also going to miss my neighbor very much, too. he's an exchange student from japan, so it'll be hard to see him often, hoo hoo, but i've been wanting to go to japan since high school, so maybe i'll see him one of these days before i graduate.
i was at another floor's restroom because my floor's was closed and in the stall a mini newsletter was posted on the wall. there was a little article about the third floor's resident assistant who passed away this year during the middle of this quarter, and it talked about how you realize how important or non-important something is in your life after you let go of it. the person advised that we should let go of things in our lives, and if it's important it will come back to us, and if not, then it wasn't that important in the first place. ok, sorry, but i have to say this, so for me, for sure wrestling is important, running is important, family is important, moohahahha. other things as well, but we can stop here for now. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 11th, 2006|11:08 pm] |
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move on. it takes a while to get over things. sometimes you think you have, but really you haven't. Almost done. this quarter i finish on a wednesday, then two days of relaxation at school while other people will be dealing with finals and then summer. Summer. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 29th, 2006|11:16 am] |
"When we reflect upon the brutal vices of these salt-water bandits, pirates as shameful as any whom the sea has borne, or recoil from their villainous destruction and cruel deeds, we must also remember the discipline, the fortitude, the comradeship and martial virtues which made them at this period beyond all challenge the most formidable and daring race in the world."
-Churchill on Vikings
"There are only two forces in the world, the sword and the spirit. In the long run the sword will always be conquered by the spirit."
-Napoleon |
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citizen_chhor's journal